October Surprise

"I'm not quite dead."

Posted on: 10 October 2008 | 6:22 pm

Road to Nowhere

Here's some more stuff we should probably ignore.A new assessment of U.S. policy in Iraq by the sameexperts who advised the original Iraq Study Groupconcludes that political progress is "so slow,halting and superficial" and political fragmentation"so pronounced" that the United States is no closerto being able to leave Iraq than it was a year ago.And how many US soldiers have died in Iraq since a year ago?Answer: 755 But why listen to experts when we've got Joe Lieberman?

Posted on: 8 April 2008 | 4:55 pm

This is not happening.

CNN:Forty-two people were killed Thursday in Kut,southeast of Baghdad, Iraq's Interior Ministrysaid, the latest casualties in three days ofclashes between militias and Iraqi securityforces.[...]Since Tuesday, clashes in Basra and throughoutIraq's Shiite heartland have left more than 100dead and many wounded in Basra, Baghdad, Hilla,Kut, Karbala and Diwaniya.Jeesh, what's with these Iraqis?Don't they know that the civil war is sooo over?

Posted on: 27 March 2008 | 4:24 pm

It's Official

According to the Pentagon: Sky is blue. 2+2=4. And there wasno link between Iraq and Al Qaeda before U.S. invasion.An exhaustive review of more than 600,000Iraqi documents that were captured after the2003 U.S. invasion has found no evidence thatSaddam Hussein's regime had any operationallinks with Osama bin Laden's al Qaida terroristnetwork.The Pentagon-sponsored study, scheduled forrelease later this week, did confirm thatSaddam's regime provided some support to otherterrorist groups, particularly in the MiddleEast, U.S. officials told McClatchy. However,his security services were directed primarilyagainst Iraqi exiles, Shiite Muslims, Kurdsand others he considered enemies of his regime.The new study of the Iraqi regime's archivesfound no documents indicating a "directoperational link" between Hussein's Iraq andal Qaida before the invasion, according to aU.S. official familiar with the report.Why does the Pentagon hate America?

Posted on: 11 March 2008 | 4:36 pm

President Facebook

George W. Bush thinks we are all really, really stupid.Sitting down at the table, having your picture taken with a tyrant such as Raul Castro, for example, lends the status of the office and the status of our country to him. He gains a lot from it by saying, look at me, I’m now recognized by the President of the United States.Click here for big, juicy pictures of Dubya lending out someof that precious status to abusive tyrants and petty dictatorsfrom all over the world... except Cuba.

Posted on: 2 March 2008 | 10:33 pm

Googling Goeglein

Tim Goeglein, plagiaristIt amazes me that any high-profile writer (even one thatworks in the Bush Administration) could be stupid enoughto commit plagiarism in the modern age of Google.How embarrassing.[h/t Atrios]

Posted on: 29 February 2008 | 12:29 pm

The Times, They Are A-Suckin'

Leave it to the pinheads at the NY Times to print an article that is so poorly sourced and edited, it makes them looklike even bigger tools than usual -- while simultaneouslyrallying conservatives around McCain.But the real kicker is they actually expected to gethigh-fives from Democrats.Q. I must say that the McCain article leftme embarrassed for your paper. So littlesubstance, but trumpeted prominently asthough you somehow had the goods on himor were raising burning questions. Itmakes it look like your reporters oreditors had an ax to grind. I hope theydidn't. Question: Do you read the coverageof your coverage? Did you see the pieceat slate.com ridiculing your paper for this?Doesn't it smart?— Brian MullaneyA. I think we all expected the reactionto be intense. We knew from our experiencelast year, when word leaked out we werepursuing this story, that Senator McCain's operatives would set out to change thesubject by making the story about TheNew York Times rather than about theircandidate.That's a time-honored tactic fordealing with potentially damaging newsstories. We knew some readers woulddisagree with our decision to publish thisinformation. After all, we wrestled withour own doubts on that score. We anticipatedthat it would provoke at least a brief mediafirestorm — and that our efforts to putMr. McCain's relationship with a lobbyistin a bigger context would probably get lostin the retelling.Personally, I was surprised by the volumeof the reaction (including more than 2,400reader comments posted on our Web site).I was surprised by how lopsided the opinionwas against our decision, with readers whodescribed themselves as independents and Democrats joining Republicans in defendingMr. McCain from what they saw as a cheapshot.Whitewater... Wen Ho Lee... Jason Blair... Judith Miller...And an op-ed page that is truly an intellectual sewer.Yet the Times editors are surprised that no one from theleft is standing up to defend their shoddy journalismagainst a livid Rush Limbaugh.Hilarious.

Posted on: 22 February 2008 | 8:39 pm

Less Jobs, More Wars

The Republican Party has spoken, and they want John McCainfor their president. I'll admit the logic behind that decisionis a bit hard for a dirty, liberal hippie like me to understand.But luckily, we have conservatives like Pat Buchanan andJoe Scarborough to explain his unique appeal to GOP voters.BUCHANAN: Here’s a guy, basically, whatdoes he say? The jobs are never coming back,the illegals are never going home, but we’regonna have a lot more wars.SCARBOROUGH: We’re gonna start a lot ofwars! He has promised, for the record Keith,John McCain’s platform — and it certainlylooks inviting for the fall — he has promisedless jobs and more wars. Now that’s somethingwe can all rally behind."Less jobs, more wars." It's got a nice ring to it, no?

Posted on: 6 February 2008 | 4:52 pm

Sock It To Me!

Thank the Lord, our prayers have been answered!That's right. Sprezzatura is back -- and he's pissed.So watch out, all you latte-drinking, baseball cap-wearing,iPod-listening punks. This sock puppet is holding a big ol'can of whoop-ass and he ain't afraid (or ashamed) to use it.

Posted on: 16 January 2008 | 1:59 pm

Busted!

Chris Matthews, the biggest loser of last night's primary, shares someface time with Hillary.Honestly, I still haven't decided on a candidate yet (though I'dbe happy with just about any of the Democrats). But any electionthat highlights the sheer stupidity and foolishness of the mediawhores who call themselves "pundits" is a victory in my book.Thank you, New Hampshire.

Posted on: 9 January 2008 | 7:26 pm

Men In Black

ABOVE: Actual photo from recent meeting of College Democrats (Princeton, NJ)Sure, it's easy to dismiss most College Republicansas a bunch of slack-jawed, bed-wetting, chickenhawkcowards who prefer to let others fight their dirtylittle wars for them while they empty another kegand jerk-off to old Chuck Norris movies.But that wouldn't be fair.Especially once you learn about guys like FranciscoNava, who do so much to advance the cause of AmericanConservatism by exposing dangerous, new enemies thatare poisoning our institutions of higher learning:Imaginary Hippie Ninjas!

Posted on: 17 December 2007 | 6:54 pm

Clueless Joe

For anyone who hasn’t been following the latest rounds ofJoe Klein’s increasingly desperate War Against Journalism(or if you just can’t get enough), check out this excellentanalysis by John Cook at Radar. Klein's reactions on Swampland to his FISA criticsare precious goldmines of self-aggrandizing pretensethat must be savored at length to appreciate theirrich subtleties and overtones. His first responseacknowledged--in an insufferably cloying way--thatalthough partisan murk clouded the issue, he "may"have made a mistake, before going on to claim thatif he indeed had made a mistake, "we are talkingabout relatively obscure and unimportant technicaldetails." In other words, Klein sat down to writea column about obscure and unimportant technicaldetails.Klein's next weigh-in on the blog, two days later,was headlined "FISA: More Than You Want to Know,"as though his responsibility to assess the veracityor lack thereof of the claims he made in his columnsinvolved some kind of burdensome slog throughlegislative thickets beyond the comprehension ofmere mortals. Why are you making me do this? Thisis hard! His post artfully shifted the issue fromwhether the bill says what he said it says to whetherhis Republican sources or Democratic sources werecorrect in their interpretations (who knows? Thislaw stuff is complicated) before actually committingto pixels the following words, which will live on asone of the finest specimens of sheer journalistichubris ever issued from one of the genre's mostaccomplished practitioners: "I have neither the timenor legal background to figure out who's right."I don't have time find out if what I write is true,people! I'm too busy claiming that other things aretrue. And even if I did have time, I'm not qualifiedto say whether the things I write are true anyway!Of course, it’s not news that Joe Klein is an incompetantstooge who can never admit when he is wrong. The realheadline here is that Time continues to employ this hackwhile denying its readers a chance to learn the truth fromothers who actually do understand what the hell they’rewriting about. Glenn Greenwald covers it all, here.

Posted on: 7 December 2007 | 3:51 pm

Scary Shit

Cheesy Question: Which is most frightening?- The fact that the warmongers in Washington brought usthisclose to starting another war with a country thatgave up trying to develop nukes years ago.- The fact that Congressional Democrats were so easilyduped into supporting this reckless policy.- The fact that President Bush claims he did not knowthis information until the story broke this week.- The fact that the Beltway Media still does not recognizeits essential role in creating this horror show.Choose carefully. Write your answer on a 3x5 postcard,and mail it to 7 years ago, where there might still besomeone in a position of power who hasn’t completelylost his fucking mind.

Posted on: 4 December 2007 | 4:56 pm

Democracy, Pakistani Style

As you sit around the table tomorrow with friends andloved ones, be thankful that we (like our pals in Pakistan)are blessed with a president who is so deeply committedto the ideals of democracy.President Bush yesterday offered hisstrongest support of embattled PakistaniPresident Pervez Musharraf, saying thegeneral "hasn't crossed the line" and "trulyis somebody who believes in democracy."But as is often the case with Bush and his BFFs, actionsspeak louder than words.Bush spoke nearly three weeks afterMusharraf declared emergency rule, sackedmembers of the Supreme Court and began aroundup of journalists, lawyers and humanrights activists. Musharraf's governmentyesterday released about 3,000 politicalprisoners, although 2,000 remain in custody,according to the Interior Ministry. The comments, delivered in an interviewwith ABC News anchor Charles Gibson,contrasted with previous administrationstatements -- including by Bush himself --expressing grave concern over Musharraf'sactions. In his first public comments onthe crisis two weeks ago, Bush said hisaides bluntly warned Musharraf that hisemergency measures "would underminedemocracy."But hey, what's wrong with a little Constitution-breakingamong friends?Bush was asked in the interview if thereis any line Musharraf should not cross."He hasn't crossed the line. As a matterof fact, I don't think that he will crossany lines," Bush replied, according to anABC transcript. "...We didn't necessarilyagree with his decision to impose emergencyrule, and... hopefully he'll get... rid ofthe rule. Today, I thought, was a prettygood signal, that he released thousands ofpeople from jail." Tom Malinowski, Washington director ofHuman Rights Watch, said that "it's hard toimagine how the administration will be ableto achieve anything in Pakistan if thepresident is so disconnected from reality." "Almost everyone in Pakistan who believesin George Bush's vision of democracy is inprison today," Malinowski said. "Callingthe man who put them in prison a greatdemocrat will only discredit America amongmoderate Pakistanis and give Musharrafconfidence that he can continue to defythe United States because Bush will forgiveanything he does."Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Posted on: 21 November 2007 | 2:54 pm

Carlin on Countdown

A master comic tackles the absurd -- from Governor Bush,to cellphones that make pancakes.

Posted on: 25 October 2007 | 3:22 am

Colbert '08

You'd think that after a performance like this, the newsmedia would get the hint that the joke is on them.But of course, you'd be wrong.

Posted on: 21 October 2007 | 2:08 pm

Stark Contrast

Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA) exposes the mean-spirited lunacyof President Bush's veto of legislation that would expandthe SCHIP program:First of all, I'm just amazed that they can'tfigure out-- the Republicans are worried thatwe can't pay for insuring an additional tenmillion children. They sure don't care aboutfinding $200 billion to fight the illegal warin Iraq. Where are you gonna get that money?You gonna tell us lies, like you're telling ustoday? Is that how you're going to fund thewar? You don't have the money to fund the waror children, but you're going to spend it toblow up innocent people, if we could get enoughkids to grow old enough for you to send toIraq to get their heads blown off for thePresident's amusement.Sadly, Stark's speech couldn't convince Republicans to dothe right thing and override President 24%. I guess theywere afraid it might make him feel irrelevant.

Posted on: 18 October 2007 | 8:54 pm

Pot meets Kettle

I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning!The guy who directed Jack, Captain EO, and a Draculamovie starring Keanu Reeves is disappointed with thecareer choices some of his peers have made recently.I met both Pacino and DeNiro when they werereally on the come," Coppola tells GQ'sNate Penn. "They were young and insecure.Now Pacino is very rich, maybe because henever spends any money; he just puts it inhis mattress. DeNiro was deeply inspired by(Coppola's studio American) Zoetrope andcreated an empire and is wealthy and powerful.Nicholson was -- when I met him and workedwith him -- he was always kind of a joker.He's got a little bit of a mean streak. He'sintelligent, always wired in with the bigguys and the big bosses of the studios.I don't know what any of them want anymore.I don't know that they want the same things.Pacino always wanted to do theater... (He)will say, 'Oh, I was raised next to a furnacein New York, and I'm never going to go toL.A.,' but they all live off the fat of the land.[...]I think if there was a role that DeNiro washungry for, he would come after it. I don'tthink Jack would. Jack has money and influenceand girls, and I think he's a little bit like(Marlon) Brando, except Brando went throughsome tough times. I guess they don't want todo it anymore.The horror... the horror.

Posted on: 17 October 2007 | 8:11 pm

I Will Survive

Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig decides, on second thought,he won't resign.Idaho Sen. Larry Craig lost a bid Thursdayto withdraw his guilty plea in a men'sroom sex sting but defiantly vowed tofinish his Senate term, prolonging aheadache for Republican leaders alreadyfacing a tough political climate.Craig had announced plans to resign hisseat by Sept. 30, but wavered when he wentto court in hopes of withdrawing his plea.He issued a statement Thursday on stayingin the Senate shortly after Idaho Gov. C.L."Butch" Otter, R, relayed word that he hadselected a replacement for Craig in theevent of a vacancy.This should prove interesting. But for now, I have toagree with Josh Marshall that Craig has done amasterful job at containing and defusing a scandal thatshould have ended his career in politics the moment ithit the front page.Let's review, news breaks that Craig, asocial conservative and strong opponentof gay rights, got nabbed for propositioninga man for sex in a public restroom -- amisdemeanor to which he later pleaded guilty.That's just a bad news day.So Craig's fellow Republicans basically doeverything short of physically forcing himto resign. He "resigns". Only it's not aresignation. Rather, it's a rather ingeniousploy to let the temperature ease off on thestory, a post-dated resignation. Then it'snot a resignation. He's going to fight theguilty plea -- something of a novelty in theannals of jurisprudence. He'll stay in officeif he can get his plea withdrawn. And now hecan't get his guilty plea withdrawn so, well,too bad. He's staying anyway. Hmm... a resignation that isn't really a resignation.Kind of like torture that isn't really torture. It maysound crazy to the rest of us, but it all makes perfectsense to the beautiful minds of the GOP.

Posted on: 4 October 2007 | 7:16 pm

Amazin'

You really got to hand it to the Mets -- always finding newand interesting ways to lose when it counts the most.Yesterday, the Mets completed one of themost stunning collapses in baseball historywith an embarrassing 8-1 loss to Florida.The season-ending nightmare began almostimmediately, as sugarplum dreams of aweekend revival quickly dissolved. The “Let’sGo Mets” chants that rocked the stadium15 minutes before the game quickly gaveway to cries of despair.On Sept. 12, the Mets had a seven-gamelead over Philadelphia with 17 games to play.A confident David Wright said: “You couldn’thave picked a better time to peak. This is thebest baseball we’ve played all season.”But then came the tailspin, and no amountof huffing and puffing, no amount of bravado,could pull the Mets out of it. On Saturday,they appeared to keep hope alive with a 13-0victory. As it turned out, that victory wassimply a last-gasp thank you to Mets fans forhanging in. Yesterday, there was nothing leftfrom a team that has now humiliated itself andits fans.And with that, the horrible memories of 2004 are washedaway from the minds of Yankees fans throughout the city.New York has a new definition for the word choke, and itlooks a lot like Tom Glavine and José Reyes.As the Phillies closed in this month, the Metsforgot the brand of baseball that had broughtthem to the cusp of another division title. If thebiggest culprit was the poor showing by thepitching staff, which posted a 5.96 earned runaverage over the final 17 games, then Reyes’snoticeable descent ranked second. Over the lasttwo months, he batted .240 and committed thesort of mental mistakes that come with a gap inmaturity. The fans, who so often chanted “José,José, José,” are left wondering what has becomeof their favorite player.“They wanted me to do good, so that’s why theybooed me,” Reyes said.And all summer long, Eric Alterman has complained aboutthe lack of Mets coverage in the NY Times compared totheir pinstriped rivals in the Bronx -- despite holding the division lead for nearly the entire season. Well, with a storylike this one, I think that ratio is due to change -- at leastuntil the playoffs. Be careful what you wish for, bub.

Posted on: 1 October 2007 | 8:33 pm

Treehugger

Whoever said Dick Cheney doesn't care about the environmentwas obviously unaware of his deep commitment to preservingour nation's trees.Speaking last week at the Gerald R. FordPresidential Library and Museum in GrandRapids, Mich., Ford's one-time White Housechief of staff said: "Researchers like tocome and dig through my files, to see ifanything interesting turns up.""I want to wish them luck," the vice presidentsaid to a laughing audience. "But the filesare pretty thin. I learned early on that ifyou don't want your memos to get you introuble someday, just don't write any."

Posted on: 25 September 2007 | 2:37 am

Even Stevens

Will Sen. Ted Stevens be the latest member of the GOPto lose his day-job over an embarrassing corruptionscandal? It's never a good sign when the FBI is recordingyour phonecalls.I'll bet they tapped his tubes too.

Posted on: 20 September 2007 | 6:53 pm

Bedtime for Gonzo

Well it sure did take a while, but at long last, itappears we won't have Fredo to kick around anymore.All I can say to the man who designed the Patriot Act,legalized torture, and supervised warrantlesssurveillance on American citizens is good riddance.Considering how his partners in crime like Libby &Rummy have managed to walk away unscathed fromthe twisted, burning wreak that was once our Americandemocracy, I have little hope that Abu Gonzales willever be brought to justice. But though this incompetentstooge, like some horrible disease, cannot beeradicated, he can at least be contained within anenvironment where he can do less harm to fewerpeople. A place already familiar with this deadly strandof compassionate conservatism. A place like… Texas.But of course, no resignation by a disgraced WhiteHouse official is complete without the standard LewisCarroll-esque commentary by President Bush. And onceagain, he does not disappoint."After months of unfair treatment that hascreated ... a harmful distraction at the JusticeDepartment, Judge Gonzales has decided toresign his position, and I accept his decision,"Bush told reporters as he prepared to boardMarine One. "It's sad that we live in a timewhen a talented and honorable person likeAlberto Gonzales is impeding (sic) from doingimportant work because his good name wasdragged through the mud for politicalreasons."I actually had to stop typing for a moment to wipe thetears off my keyboard.Not surprisingly, Jon Stewart figured out the Gonzalesplaybook a long time ago and spelled it out perfectly in aninterview with Bill Moyers.JON STEWART: For instance, Alberto Gonzales,and you've been watching the hearings. He iseither a perjurer, or a low-functioning pinhead.And he allowed himself to be portrayed in thosehearings as a low-functioning pinhead, ratherthan give the Congressional Committee chargedwith oversight, any information as to hisdecision-making process at the Department ofJustice.And I used to think, "They're doing this based ona certain arrogance." And now, I realize that it'sbecause they believe there is one accountabilitymoment for a President, and that is the four yearelection. And once you get that election, you'redone.BILL MOYERS: They're right, are they not?JON STEWART: They're completely not right. Theelection moment is merely the American publicsaying, "We'd rather you be President than thatguy." That's it. The next four years, though, youstill have to abide by the oversight process that isthere to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I acceptthat kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise andKatie Holmes, but I don't accept that around ourgovernment.BILL MOYERS: Tens of thousands, hundreds ofthousands of words were written about Gonzales'testimony last week in Congress. And I still don'tthink a lot of people get it. And all of the sudden,there on THE DAILY SHOW that evening, youdistilled the essence of it.[…]JON STEWART: And by the way, that was all just-- that was a game, and he knew it, and the guyson the committee knew it. And for the Presidentto come out after that and say, "Everything I sawthere gave me more confidence in him," thatsolidified my notion that, "Oh, it's because whathe expected of Gonzalez was" it's sort of like, doyou remember in GOODFELLAS? When Henry Hill gotarrested for the first time and Robert DeNiro methim at the courthouse and Henry Hill was reallyupset, 'cause he thought Robert DeNiro would bereally mad at him. And DeNiro comes up to him andhe gives him a $100 and he goes, "You got pinched.We all get pinched, but you did it right, youdidn't say nothing."BILL MOYERS: Gonzales said nothing.JON STEWART: Right. And "you went up there andsaid nothing. You gave them no legal recourseagainst you, and you made yourself a smart man,a self-made man look like an utter pinhead onnational television, and you did it for me."That's what friends are for.Finally, for those of you keeping score, Paul Kiel has a niftyrundown of the numerous Justice Department resignationsthat have occurred in the wake of the U.S. attorney firingscandal. It’s a ridiculously long list. In fact, it might havebeen easier to just announce who’s left.

Posted on: 27 August 2007 | 8:07 pm

Dude, Where's My Government?

Uniters, not dividers: Bush & MalikiAwesome.Escalating a political crisis that has paralyzed the Iraqi government, three secular cabinet members will formally resign Saturday, according to a senior member of the group.The Iraqi National List, an umbrella group of several political parties composed of secular Sunnis and Shiites, had boycotted cabinet meetings since Aug. 7 because of frustrations with what they saw as Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's divisive leadership style. The party, headed by former prime minister Ayad Allawi, will now submit the official resignations, National List member Iyad Jamal al-Deen said.* * *The largest Sunni political bloc has already formally withdrawn from the cabinet, while the party loyal to powerful Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr continues to boycott government meetings. All told, nearly half the cabinet members are not attending meetings.And let’s not forget that Iraq’s parliament has beenout-to-lunch all month. Could someone please remindme what the surge was supposed to accomplish?

Posted on: 25 August 2007 | 8:08 pm

756*

Well Barry, you got your record.I hope it was worth it -- because now it’s pretty much allyou've got. And if A-Rod stays healthy and productive, you won’t even have that for very long.

Posted on: 7 August 2007 | 11:42 pm