An All New Meaning To Sleight-Of-Hand

Magician David Copperfield is in the FBI's crosshairs following an alleged rape charge. Agents searched a Las Vegas warehouse belonging to David Copperfield and a casino theater where the magician regularly performs. I find myself quite perplexed ... how can a man who can make an 747 disappear, cause the Statue of Liberty to vanish, float over the Grand Canyon, escape from Alcatraz and pass through the Great Wall of China simply not make this charge ... disappear?

Posted on: 21 October 2007 | 10:24 pm

Like A Good Neighbor ...

A local woman made the national news circuit yesterday after being cited for disorderly conduct for swearing at her toilet. Dawn Herb of Scranton, PA faces up to 90 days in jail and a $300 fine if convicted of the offense after police responded to her residence, acting on the complaint of a neighbor who called them. Apparently the off duty police officer/neighbor (one in the same) Patrick Gilman was offended by the potty mouth woman whose toilet became backed-up and overheard her through an open window. And rather than offer assistance ... or even a plunger, he promptly phoned police and the woman was issued a citation. In this mornings paper, it was stated that the ACLU will be representing Dawn Herb fir her defense. Mary Catherine Roper, an attorney with the ACLU, had this to say; "This is an extreme example of the government trying to intrude into a place they have no business being, your bathroom and your home. You can prosecute somebody for bad language in Iran, this isn’t Iran." All this ... over a blocked crapper ... this ladies and gentlemen is why I love living in Scranton. You just can't buy this kind of entertainment anywhere else. Maybe NBC's "The Office" should do a episode on this one to really seal the deal on the show's Scranton authenticity.

Posted on: 17 October 2007 | 10:26 pm

Hands Free Communication Yields Thought Free Products

The other day, I purchased a bluetooth headset headset for my cell phone. I ultimately had no choice, I spend alot of time on the road and Pennsylvania has just passed a hands-free law that goes in to effect November 10, 2007. PA House Bill No. 1827 amends Title 75 of the Pennsylvania Consolidated Statues and was passed on September 11, 2007 and states that any person who is found to be in violation of this section commits a summary offense andupon conviction, will be sentenced to pay a $50 fine. Anyway, my point is many bluetooth headsets come with a status indicator LED light to inform the user of things like battery life and if the unit is online or offline. Great idea ... if the person wearing the thing could actually see the light!!! Instead I guess I'm going to have to rely on the kindness of other motorists to yell over to me at a red traffic light to let me know my earpiece battery is about to die. The same people that drive right by a major motor vehicle crash because they "don't want to get involved" ... I should have sprung for the car charger too.

Posted on: 14 October 2007 | 11:18 pm

Jenny I've Got Your Number ... 25 Years Later

Today, I had an epiphany. I dialed 867-5309 and asked for Jenny. The man on the other end informed me that Jenny (shockingly) was not there, and then immediately told me he'd be sure to leave her a message that Tommy Tutone called. I love people that can take a joke.

Posted on: 11 October 2007 | 9:53 pm

Letter Carriers On Shooting Sprees ... Now I Know Why

Is anyone else completely aggravated with the USPS package shipping process? I ordered something over a week ago and the seller was happy to provide a "Label/Receipt number" issued by the USPS. The only problem is, the number is COMPLETELY useless! Whenever I check the status of the order, I get the same message "Delivery status information will be provided if / when available. Information, if available, is updated every evening. Please check again later." In the past, orders that have arrived via United States Postal Service have not shown delivered until a week after they got here. Now, I can't even get confirmation it left the shipper's location. The USPS is nothing more than an overpriced, motorized pony express subsidized for their inefficiency and incompetence by the taxpayers like you and I.

Posted on: 9 October 2007 | 10:29 pm

Local On The 8's

Organizers of the Chicago Marathon scrubbed the race only four hours into it due to the 88 degree heat that plagued the city today. More than 300 contestants were treated in local hospitals for heat related ailments, and as of the writing one athlete died as a result of extreme temperature. Personally, I see absolutely no reason to run without purpose for 26.2 miles ... but I do understand there are some people out there that call this fun, and I do respect that. But rather than spend hours carb-loading the night before, perhaps that time would be better spent checking out the weather forecast and acting on it accordingly ... but that's just my opinion. Common sense here people ... we're (our bodies) just not designed to run 26.2 miles without physical and mental consequence. That's why our species has developed deductive reasoning and adaptation skills ... to adapt, improvise and overcome so we don't have to run 26.2 miles!

Posted on: 7 October 2007 | 10:13 pm

Bush: If It's Not For Iraq, I'll Just Send It Back

In a massive push to override President Bush's veto of the program that would have doubled the number of children eligible for the State Children's Health Program, democrats really don't have to look any further for public support than simply publicizing the fact President Bush vetoed it. Although President Bush stated he shot down the bill because "it was a step toward federalizing medicine and inappropriately expanded the program beyond it's focus on helping poor children". None the less, resourceful democrats have implemented a plan B ... just in case regular citizens like you and I who oppose the President's veto suddenly find ourselves involved as the subject of "terrorist investigation" because we have an opinion other than the commander-in-chief's and no rights of privacy thanks to the Patriot Act. Plan B is to amend the bill to incorporate that all children that have participated in the Children's Health Program at any point, must serve a four year minimum term in the United States military as part of President Bush's "war for oil" program ... then it will pass without hesitation or budget constraint.

Posted on: 4 October 2007 | 10:27 pm

Google THIS!

Has anyone else been noticing Google's stealthy acquisition of everything lately? I post on blogger ... now owned by Google. I generated a RSS feed through feedburner.com ... recently acquired by Google. I offer a free emailing of "Is It Me?" posts thought Feedblitz.com ... now operated by Google. Is anyone else fed up with being the victim of corporate mergers and takeovers (whether tangible or not)... I am!

Posted on: 2 October 2007 | 10:39 pm

Finders Keepers

When Bernard Salcedo of Sanford, Florida lost power in his house, he did what any of us would do ... went looking for the source of the power outage. His search led him to the attic, and rather than finding a wiring problem ... he found $100,000 in cash tucked away in an insulation cavity containing four plastic bags filled with $20 and $100 bills. Mr. Salcedo immediately contacted police regarding his find ... and they promptly took it as evidence due to the fact the previous homeowner was stabbed to death in the residence. And to make matters worse, Bernard Salcedo now has to battle it out in court to reclaim this money, because the former owner's wife is laying claim to the cash. What's wrong with these people? If you find large amounts of small denomination cash neatly tucked away in your house ... why in God's name do you go telling people? It's your house ... your find ... your cash!!! I don't know about you, but if I had $100,000 stuffed away somewhere in my home ... I think I'd remember to take it out before I left. For crying out loud, I almost kicked in my door the other day after I left my house and realized I forget my cell phone.

Posted on: 28 September 2007 | 10:33 pm

The Ugly Tree King: You Make The Call

Okay. The results are in, and it's official. After an extensive and lengthy poll, it has been concluded that Americans just cannot decide (51% to 49% +or- 2%) who fell from a further height down the ugly tree striking every branch on the way down; Phil Spector or Don Imus. Feel free to cast your vote on the comments section, I check them daily.

Posted on: 27 September 2007 | 12:40 am

English Language In U.S. To Be Phased Out By 2025 ... You Heard It Here First

I called my friends cell phone this evening, and was greeted by his "automated voice mail system". Before identifying if I had even called the correct number, I was immediately prompted to push 1 for English ... so I would only imagine that had I not, the directions would by default proceed in Spanish. Full well knowing that friend does not speak any other language other than English (unless you count pig Latin), I found these instructions quite aggravating. Yet again, corporate America is catering to the minority of customers, that due to their place of origin, do not fluently speak English. I wonder if I bought a cell phone and plan in Mexico, if automated voice mail systems would by default proceed in English if the caller does not push one for Spanish?

Posted on: 22 September 2007 | 10:48 pm

New Tazer Burning A Hole In Your Pocket?

On Monday, Senator John Kerry got more of a student response than he ever bargained for during an address at the University of Florida. Andrew Meyer, a 21 year old student at the University, had a series of questions to ask the Senator. After watching the video on youtube.com, it is apparent to me that Mr. Meyer really should have used better judgement with his wording while addressing the Senator (being that this event was a public forum) and that security should have escorted him from the premises after his remarks. With that said, the University of Florida campus police clearly violated the rules of engagement. Andrew Meyer was in no way a threat to himself or others around him at any time ... just an opinionated young man. His actions did not in any way warrant a less than lethal compliance method ... for crying out loud, I counted seven of them around him just before he got tazered. You mean to tell me seven "trained" officers do not possess the basic security skills needed to subdue one student? And if you listen just before he gets the tazer, Mr. Meyer can clearly be heard saying he'll be more than happy to "just leave" University police tazering him for "non-compliance" is absolutely ridiculous. I guess the saying is true, that security guards are the ones that just weren't good enough to be police officers (more than likely ... they failed the psychiatric portion of the exam).

Posted on: 19 September 2007 | 10:55 pm

Cell Phone Towers: The New Prime Real Estate

In the local paper today, yet another municipality is fighting the installation of a cell phonetower within their jurisdictional limits. Opponents of the new cell phonesite argue that exposure to radiation emitting from the tower on a 24/7 basis may have adverse effects of their families and neighbors health, and that studies on this radiation have not been conclusive enough to support or refute this theory. After reading this article in the morning paper, I made it a point to look at how many people in the course of a day I passed that had cell phones glued to their ears. Amazingly, I found that about 1 in 8 drivers were engaging in cell phone conversations while driving (most via bluetooth headset)and about 1 in 12 people walking around town were actively talking of phones. Society today thrives on communication and all cell phone customers demand good reception (even in remote locations), clear and interruption free calls, and all the bells and whistles that a compact communication device can offer such as GPS, email, textand pictures... but nobody want a tower anywhere near their house. What's interesting is that the ones that are up in arms about transmitter radiation are more than likely the same bunch you see with phones in their hands while en route to the mini market four blocks away from their house, and can't make the trip without finding a reason to call somebody.

Posted on: 18 September 2007 | 1:10 am

Poor Man's Treasure

For those who may be looking for an inexpensive, yet rewarding, something to do, may I recommend cleaning a closet that you have stuck things in many years ago and haven't opened since. Today I tackled the "just put it there, and I'll get to it later" closet, and unearthed a plethora of valuable forgotten stuff ... it was like hitting the lottery. I guess I really need to keep a better inventory of my things, if nothing else ... at least remember where I put them.

Posted on: 16 September 2007 | 10:15 pm

Boy ... The Times You Wish You Opted For The Camera Phone.

In the town where I live, the population is growing at a steady clip. This growth has yielded a substantial expansion in commercial retailers from fast food to pharmacies to banks, ... to fast food places with pharmacies and banks. Anyway, when I passed by the local Burger King last week, there was a large sign that stated the this particular location would be closed for a short time and to please visit the other Burger Kings in the area. Judging by the large hole between the highway and the King's store, I could only assume that during construction of the newest drug store (located only fifty feet from the Burger King), someone accidentally struck a underground utility forcing the fast food place to close. For the record, I passed the store on Thursday 4:30 p.m. ... they were open as usual the day before (Wednesday). On Friday at 9:00 a.m., the restaurant was gone ... ruble ... demolished, yet the "temporarily closed" sign still remains in the entrance to the parking lot to this day. Pictures to come.

Posted on: 13 September 2007 | 10:48 pm

Six Years Later

9/11/01, FDNY lost 343. You will never be forgotten brothers. 5 5 5 5.

Posted on: 12 September 2007 | 1:21 am

9/11 Conspiracy Theories Vs. Common Sense 101

Many cable channels have spent most of this weekend airing shows about the events of 9/11/01. The shows range in topic from the World Trade Center building construction to the inner workings of NORAD. The ones that really intrigue me though, are the 9/11 conspiracy theory shows that spotlight ideas and hypotheses of people who believe the government was behind the entire attack the whole time, and employ less than accurate (or completely fabricated) information to produce results that, to conventional wisdom and ordinary common sense, leave more holes in their own conspiracy theories than when they started. Really ... come on ... thermite charges??? A 125,000 pound airplane carrying about 6,000 gallons of fuel traveling at 400 mph that struck a building that was designed with an open floor/truss superstructure ... what did you expect, it would bounce off??? Personally, I'm amazed that they stood as long as they did! These ridiculous conspiracy theories can only be the work of the children whose parents maintain we never landed on the moon ... I guess every generation needs a cause.

Posted on: 9 September 2007 | 10:19 pm

Fun Stuff On The Web

Every once and a while, I come across a website that I just have to share with others. For those looking to play practical jokes on friends and family or others who may be just looking to waste some time and amuse themselves on the internet, give this one a try warninglabelgenerator.com. Here you can design and print official looking, yet creative and funny warning signs. Enjoy.

Posted on: 8 September 2007 | 10:45 pm

Thought Control ... Are We Really So Far Off?

Jerry Lewis was in the spotlight this week after a slanderous remark about gays, Mr. Lewis soon after offered a prepared and formal apology. The whole incident got me thinking, I guess that's the price you pay for fame (although I'm not condoning foul language in public) ... not being able to publicly express your discontent with others people's lifestyle choices. This is of course unless you are; gay, black, an illegal alien, or some other sort of the American public "minority". Then you can publicly bash anyone, anytime, about any of the choices they as the "majority" have made regardless of setting or audience without consequence. So what ... Isaiah Washington is entitled to his opinion, but it got him fired. If he had been gay, and said off color remarks about heterosexuals ... he'd probably still be employed! Why must we all walk on eggshells every time our mouth opens ... really ... what's wrong with having an opinion and voicing it? If the majority remains silent (although unified in thought), the minority is now the majority.

Posted on: 5 September 2007 | 10:37 pm

Useless Trivia Fact #14

The blood vessels of a blue whale are so wide, that an adult trout could swim through them.

Posted on: 4 September 2007 | 7:02 pm

You Never Get A Second Chance To Make Copies Of Your First Files

On Wednesday, May 30, I wrote a post about how my hard drive died, and have since found an affordable and easy solution.In fact, I liked it so much I decided to promote it. Mozy online backup offers a small unintrusive and secure system that runs in the background, and once a few simple settings are entered it's literally "set it and forget it" ... files of your choice are automatically backed up. Forget long waits for uploads, it is smart enough to only backup the files that have either changed or have been added since the last backup. They offer two different uses of the same service; A free 2 GB fully functional storage service that has no expiration and requires no credit card to get, or an unlimited storage capacity for $4.95 a month. After having my hard drive crap out without warning and losing everything on it, (all my work files and pictures ... including the pictures of my son from the day of his birth right up through a year and a half) knowing of this service in advance really would have been a cheap insurance policy and kept me out of hot water with the Mrs. To really get a good feel of how important you home or office computer may be to you, remove the power cord and give it to a friend to hold on to for two weeks ... you may be surprised how much you rely on it, and were not even aware that were. Again ... cheap insurance.

Posted on: 3 September 2007 | 12:32 am

Is PETA Getting Soft In Their Old Age?

Last week, the local chapter of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) was protesting the area KFC because of suspected animal cruelty violations. As I was passing by, I couldn't help but read the signs ... mainly because such an organized, peaceable demonstration by PETA completely caught me off guard. Typically their tactics involve; breaking and entering, arson, criminal mischief, defiant trespassing and so on. Anyway, this public awareness picketing was to inform would be customers and average citizens alike of the terrible experiences that chickens would have to endure before being slaughtered. The fact that these chickens were born and raised in captivity for the sole purpose human consumption and would never survive in the wild, even if they had the chance, was not emblazoned on any of their signs. I applaud their determination and (for once) peaceable assemblance, but why not spend this time down the street helping a bum get back on his financial feet or help orphan children learn how to read. Chickens typically don't possess enough mental capacity to do anything other than be chickens. Fellow humans however, could greatly benefit from the smallest of consolation and personal attention.

Posted on: 31 August 2007 | 8:05 pm

Reality TV Shopping Spree

In one form or another, we all in some degree have a fascination with reality tv. We all just can't get enough of watching both the triumphs and failures of people, and in many respects can relate to the members, players and contestants because they are regular people ... just like us. So whether you're a the self proclaimed guru of the reality tv circuit, or one of those closet watchers that quickly changes the channel when people come in the room, the fact remains that our basic human curiosity of other average humans on television dealing with adversity and adventure isn't going to be canceled anytime soon. For those who just can't get enough of their daily dose of reality tv, I found a site that offers a not only offers a wide variety of comments and recaps on many of the popular shows, but also has a newsletter to keep you up to speed ... and just signing up puts you in the running for a Fifty Dollar Amazon.com gift certificate!

Posted on: 30 August 2007 | 10:22 pm

Wait Until Ron Popeil Gets Hold Of This One

Last week, the local newspaper reported that "experts" believe that a major contributing factor to the Interstate 35 bridge collapse in Minneapolis can be attributed to pigeon dung on the bolts of the bridges superstructure ... yes, experts actually said this. I work with copper, aluminum, brass, bronze, stainless steel, and iron on a daily basis and have yet to find a naturally occurring animal excrement that possesses the corrosive properties to compromise the strength of any of these metals ... if there was one, I'd buy it to loosen rusted and frozen parts. For those who may still think there is actually some credibility to the pigeon theory, look no further than our county courthouse. Let's face it, bridge inspectors didn't do their job ... period. Boy, the things people will say to point the finger elsewhere when they caught with their pants down ... pigeon dung, that's the best they could come up with???

Posted on: 29 August 2007 | 12:28 am

My Last Uno Chicago Grill Visit

I typically try to plan my weekend dining out around the fact that other people, for the most part, eat around prescribed time frames. So to beat the rush and avoid long waiting times (not to mention I do have a young child that can still be unpredictable), we usually will stop at a restaurant around 2:00 - 4:00. Well today I hit a milestone, something I never even thought imaginable for the food service industry. At our local Uno Chicago Grill, there was a 25 minute wait time to be seated at 1:30. When my wife inquired as to why there was a wait, noting that the parking was reasonably empty and there were plenty of tables obviously available to the hostess, the young employee answered back with a sarcastic face "we're short servers." Apparently, not enough waiters/waitresses came in to work at the Uno Chicago Grill today ... but the look we received for having the audacity to even inquire as to why we were going to have to wait could have killed. How dare us!!! I guess we must have been the only ones to even wonder, because other customers seemed perfectly content to wait while open, clean, and set tables stared them in the face. My guess is that management and owner salaries at the Uno Chicago Grill must be high enough to not be concerned that customers are leaving before they even get a seat. So, I'm lead to believe that the profit margin earned on the dolts willing to wait it out far surpasses basic staffing and operating expenses ... that's why the supervisors at this local Uno Chicago Grill made no attempt to at least patch the problem. Do yourself a favor, and dine elsewhere.

Posted on: 26 August 2007 | 7:13 pm