The Kardashian Sisters buy a Las Vegas gambling casino & hotel

Brace yourselves, because the Kardashian K Klan has just descended upon the Las Vegas strip in their signature style, turning Sin City into 'K-Sin' City! In a move that's more extravagant than a Kardashian closet, the nation's wealthiest siblings hav…

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Stormy Daniels says that Trump is one really messed up son-of-a-bitch

The woman who became famous for having her vajayjay grabbed by the former Golfer-In-Chief, Donald J. Erasmus Trump, says that she heard from a very reliable source that the racist bigot has been placed on suicide watch. Stormy would not reveal who…

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Anheuser-Busch sales are in the toilet and the company is asking Elon Musk for a loan

It appears that the makers of Bud Light, which has gone from number one in popularity to number 19, did not learn from the antics of the Dixie Chicks. The Chicks thought that it would be funny to say that President Bush (the daddy) was nothing mor…

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After only one week on the market Ben and Jerry discontinues their Trump Banana Bigot ice cream

The biggest ice cream maker in the world, Ben and Jerry, has just announced that due to dismal sales, they are discontinuing their Trump Banana Bigot Ice Cream. A spokeperson for the creamery stated that only 29 pints were sold in the entire Unite…

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Sales of the Tesla Motors police cars are hitting astronomical proportions

International Inquirer reporter Paco Tabasco, who is a close friend of gazillionaire Elon Musk, owner of Tesla Motors, reports that sales of the brand new Tesla Police Car are hitting astronomical proportions. The new law enforcement vehicle is ou…

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The sales of Elon Musk's new Tesla Convertible are shooting through the 'roof'

Elon Musk and his ingenious team at Tesla Motors have once again left the world agog with their latest creation – the ultra-modern Tesla Transformer Convertible! Musk, the wizard behind the wheels, proudly announced that the new convertible featur…

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Three of Trump's cousins say that the evil bonehead needs to go to prison

According to Timeless Magazine, Donald J.E. Trump, aka The Orange Shithead, is still the most hated man in the entire US of A. Trump is more hated than Bernie Madoff, Charles Manson, O.J. Simpson, Greg Gutfeld, Ann Coulter, Bill Cosby, and Benedic…

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It is so damn hot in Texas that a woman baked a loaf of bread in her mail box

The Houston Citizen Review Newspaper reports that the temperatures in Texas are so damn high that a woman who resides in San Antonio actually baked a loaf of bread in her mail box. Reporter Bijou Overdown spoke with Mrs. Flatonia Kibbanowski, 78,…

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Harry and Megs create royal rap song

Everything else failed: interviews, books, Netflix film, the Manhattan car chase. Still, the royal family remains loved and respected, not hidden behind sunglasses, making appointments with paparazzi. How to convince the world of the horrors cause…

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Anderson Cooper admits that Britney Spears has "ungayed" him

In the 'All Things Are Possible" department, LaLaLand Daily reporter Willow Tulsa broke the story that Anderson Cooper revealed to her that since meeting and getting to know blonde songstress Britney Spears he is thrilled to announce that he is no lo…

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Miley Cyrus says her bikini line injury from twerking has healed up nicely

In an exclusive interview with Press Extra, the ever-entertaining Miley Cyrus revealed that her recent twerking injury is far from a 'bump in the rump,' except for one hilarious catch - it throbs like a disco beat when she sneezes or coughs! Accor…

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America's top female spy, Lady Chatterley, is a mistress of disguises

President Biden recently commented at a dinner in honor of America's number 1 spy, code name: Lady Chatterley, that he wishes the US had half a dozen female spies, as talented, as gorgeous, and as sexy as LC. She has dated Russian President Vladim…

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Khloe Kardashian admits that yes, she recently dated a Taliban hitman - but only once

In a surprising twist that had Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle's eyebrows reaching for the stars, she dared to ask the towering Khloe Kardashian about a peculiar rumor circulating in the celebrity cosmos – was she really dating a hitma…

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King Charles says that he is seriously considering buying Wembley Stadium

Hold onto your scarves footy fans because King Charles recently spilled the beans to none other than our roving reporter, Petula Tart, from The Ta Ta For Now News Agency. And what's all the buzz about? A little bit of football, a lot of royalty, and…

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The WNBA names Britney Spears Sports Bra the best in the business

The Sports Bet Gazette has just revealed that the new Britney Spears Sports Bra has just been named "The Best Sports Bra in The Sports World" by the Women's National Basketball Association. Kia Nurse with the Seattle Storm stated that she has has…

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A top Al-Qaeda spy is arrested watching the Yankees and the Astros at Yankee Stadium

One of Al-Qaeda's leading spies, Hanji Mir Azis was recently arrested as he sat in Yankee Stadium watching a game between the Yanks and the world champion Houston Astros. Mir Azis is considered to be one of the world's most prolific spies, who has…

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Every US retail outlet has run out of the WNBA sheer mesh panties

Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti has stated that retail stores Walmart, Target, and Fiddle Faddle have all run out of the new WNBA panties. Confetti noted that the new undies come in sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL, and XXXL - though, good luck finding t…

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The US Proctologists Guild names Ted Cruz "asshole of the year"

One of the most hated individuals in America, Ted "Dracula" Cruz has just been named "The Asshole of The Year" by The US Proctologists Guild. Cruz joins other assholes of the year such as Donald "The Orange Whale" Trump, Ann "Horse Face" Coulter,…

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Sussexes ask hotel chains to provide free copies of Harry’s book Spare to all rooms instead of Gideon’s Bible

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have approached several large hotels, including the Hilton and the Holiday Inn, asking them to replace old copies of Gideon’s Bible with copies of Prince Harry’s autobiography Spare. The bible is generally left in al…

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The nation's number one lipstick is Cover Chick Cosmetic's 'Sultry'

The lipstick industry has just gotten the biggest boost since waterproof lipstick as "Sultry," by Cover Chick Cosmetics has just hit the cosmetic market. According to a representative with CCC, the new lipstick has several secret ingredients that…

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The FBI has a video of Trump stealing White House silverware

Ipso Facto News writer Sinclair Petaluma, said the FBI has surveillance video of Trump stealing silverware from the White House kitchen. Petaluma personally took an independent poll of Trump supporters, and he found that only 7% say that they woul…

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Avocado Wedding Cakes have become quite the rage

According to the Vox Populi News Agency, avocado wedding cakes are now the most popular wedding cakes in the state of California. The delicious avocado marital cakes are the brainchild of Burbank baker Shilo "Sugar" Coronado, who has been baking w…

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Fights at Popeyes without a single can of spinach in sight

We’ve all seen Twitter and all it has to offer. Since Elon took over there are more ads from bizarre companies than ever. What a capitalist age we live in. But no, I’m not talking about that. Nor about all the Go Fund Me or Only Fans Twitter Hos.

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“I Hump for Jesusâ€� … not if you wanna keep your job, Amy

A strange new law is soon to come to America, which still insists that it has a separation of church and state. Politicians, police, judges and other people in elevated places of power and prestige – those who control the lives and freedoms of oth…

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The stand up comedian who invented the 'Punch Line' turns 99

BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx reports that Paul "The Ragin' Cajun" Punch has just celebrated his 99th birthday. Punch, who was a stand up comedian, is credited with having invented the comical routine 'Punch Line." The "Ragin Cajun" at one tim…

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